Dear Fanfiction Writers
by FAYZian-intheglade
Summary: The characters from the Gone series write letters to fanfiction writers with their complaints, opinions and questions.
1. Caine

**Hi everyone! So I noticed that there wasn`t one of these fics for Gone yet, which is surprising! So I decided to write one. Hope you enjoy it!**

Dear fanfiction writers,

I am aware that many people like to write about me, which I can`t say doesn`t surprise me, as let`s face it, I am the most awesome character in the series!

However, there are certain points I would like to complain about:

First of all, STOP SHIPPING ME WITH DRAKE!  
>How would you ever think that would be a good couple?! Seriously, just no. It`s not even a good couple name. "Cake" or "Draine". You all disgust me. Peasants.<p>

Also, I would appreciate if you stopped pairing with me Astrid (Little Sammy`s getting jealous, and we can`t have that, can we?) Same goes for Brianna and Taylor (*Shudder*).

I also have no feelings for Sam except hate. No brotherly love, no romance, nothing. Sorry to disappoint you (Haha, not really. I`m never sorry.)

Can you get all that into your thick skulls? I swear, the next time I see Cake fan art, or a Caine-Brianna fanfic, I will kill you all.

Yours sincerely,

**Caine Soren. (Complete badass and ruler of the FAYZ.)**

P.S. – (MY EYES ARE DARK BROWN. THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN BROWN. WHOEVER SAYS THEY ARE BLUE ARE AN IDIOT AND SHOULD BE BURNT.)


	2. Diana

**Here is chapter 2! This time it`s Diana`s turn. I hope you all enjoy.**

Dear fanfiction writers,

Hi everyone, I`m Diana Ladris.

I have nothing against the fact you all write fanfiction. In fact, I think it`s pretty awesome. But I`d just like to clear some things up.

I`ve no idea when I first fell for Drake…. It was probably when he admitted his secret feelings towards me. Or when he turned out to be a sweet and loving person underneath his psychotic exterior. Or when he saved my life. Oh wait- THAT NEVER HAPPENED!

But seriously, the idea of us as a couple makes me want either to vomit or laugh hysterically. We share no emotions towards each other except hate, and a desire to violently stab each other to death with a knife.

Also, Siana is also never going to happen. Don't get me wrong, Sam`s cute and all. And I don`t hate him. But come on- really? He`s too busy making goo-goo eyes at Astrid to notice anyone else. And he`s too much of a good guy. Caine`s the only one for me.

A friendly reminder that I`m also not in love with Dekka.

You`ve pretty much all got my character accurate though. Good job! Especially my sarcastic streak!

So yeah, keep writing. Apart from Driana. I`m shuddering right now just thinking about it.

Yours sincerely,

**Diana Ladris.**

**-Hey, so I`d just like to add that all the complaints the characters have are not specifically my opinions, they`re just the character`s. I actually quite like Driana! Hope you enjoyed it! **


	3. Sam

Dear Fanfiction writers,

Er, Hi. I`m Sam Temple.

I love Astrid. I know that sometimes she can be a bit well, insufferable. And infuriating. But I love her.

I don`t love Taylor. I mean why would you ever think I liked Taylor?! Because I kissed her? Well, yeah… I guess that's why…. _But still!_

And I swear, if one more of you ships me with Diana, Caine is going to throw me through a wall! Don`t let that happen to me! It`s scary, OK? He`s getting jealous. And getting jealous means he`s getting mad. And I don`t know if you know Caine, but when he gets mad, he`s not exactly likely to start handing out free sweets and singing about world peace, is he?

Anyway, I`m cool with you writing about me, especially considering I`m the _main character_ in the series _*laughs manically in Caine`s face*._

Just one last thing, I don`t love Quinn! Sure, he`s my friend and all. But seriously, there`s nothing more going on. I guess you could say we have a bromance, but we`re not like, in love. I once stumbled against a very… How to put this, _explicit_ fanfiction about me and him. Seriously, I couldn`t look him in the eye for like, a month….

So yeah, thanks for reading.

Yours sincerely,

**Sam Temple (leader of the FAYZ- even though I like, hate my job…) **

**-Hope you enjoyed! I`m probably gonna write either Drake or Astrid next. **


	4. Drake

Dear fanfiction writers,

I`m Drake Merwin. Otherwise known as The Whip Hand. Lol. I`m awesome. Bow down to me, you ignorant fools.

Why do you guys even write fanfiction? Seriously, if I could I`d come and find every single one of you and whip the skin right off your bones. WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT? You are not portraying me as the cool, indestructible, merciless, and intelligent character I actually am!

Some of you are making me seem really thick. _*Wipes away tear*_. LOL JK I DON`T EVER CRY. And even worse, some of you are making it look like I actually have… _feelings *shudders*._

I hate you all, goddammit! STOP MAKING ME HAVE EMOTIONS OK.

Now I will move on to the next part of this letter- shipping's. I mean, I didn't know what that was, but then someone explained that it is when someone ships two humans/non-humans together. In a _relationship_. _*Vomits.*_

Like, stop doing it! Why would I ever like Diana? I mean seriously? The only person who would ever like her is Caine, and he doesn`t really even count _*laughs evilly*._

And plus, I don`t like Caine either. We`re not a couple. And I don`t have some kind of pathetic, degrading, one-sided crush on him. What would ever give you that idea_? *Laughs nervously and tries to hide red face*._

And worst of all, BRIANNA AND SAM. Why would you ever think I`d be a good couple with either of them? YOU REPEL ME. AND I`M SUPPOSED TO BE THE REPULSIVE PSYCOPATH HERE, STOP STEALING MY LIMELIGHT.

But seriously, just no. Sam`s fun. And by that I mean he`s fun to see suffering. Like at the power plant, when I was hitting him over and over, and he was crying. Hahaha, that was so hilarious though!

And Brianna?! Eww, no way, I hate her so much. Nooooooooooooo. She`s possibly the worst person you could ever ship me with! We hate each other. That is it.

Don`t even get me started on people shipping me and Astrid. I don`t even need to _explain _why this is wrong.

You`re all really thick. And annoying. And funny, though. I`d love to see you all writhing in pain and suffering. Which is basically a compliment coming from me!

If you`ll excuse me I need to go hurt some more people and possibly torture some kittens.

To all the fangirls out there who are obsessed with me, I`m glad you love me. I`m not even going to tell you to stop. Seriously, I can understand you r obsession. I`m pretty freaking awesome I must admit. But when you ship me with weird girls who I always end up falling for in some kind of twisted way, and then who become my main reason to live…. I mean, that would never happen. When I was reading those fanfictions I got so annoyed I had to literally stop myself from taking a gun and going on a major killing spree (because when it happened the first time it certainly wasn`t pretty.)

I was supposed to write yours sincerely, but no-one can tell ME what to do!

LOL SCREW YOU LOSERS!

**Drake Merwin (Whip Hand, sadist, and all around awesome guy.**

**/**

**-Haha, I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. It`s the longest one so far but several people were asking for Drake so I didn`t want to disappoint! I think Quinn or Astrid is going to be next. Did you notice the sneaky Cake reference I made? I know this are the characters opinions only and Cake is not canon, but I had to slip it in somewhere! Thanks for reading! **


End file.
